Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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