This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
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It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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