Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
