Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
