sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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