I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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