sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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