No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
