She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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