Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
