yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
