yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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