Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
