ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I faked an abortion last night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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