It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
