she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Still dying that you shit outside
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
