Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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