I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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