After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
