try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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