reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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