Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
