My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
