I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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