I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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