what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
