Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
