look no pants
Soap is not a condiment
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize