when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
