the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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