chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
