like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
