that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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