This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
