Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
