I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
