I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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