If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
FUCK WHALES
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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