Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
