I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
