dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
