Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
