I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
