So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
