My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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