WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
