we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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