ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
