Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
