I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize