im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
is wine microwaveable?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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