OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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