you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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