What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
3 2 1 whiskey
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
