do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
