some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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