You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
