Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
