Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
