its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
