How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
