Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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