So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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