you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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