I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
