My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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