what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
