I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
