I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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