All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
