Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
