How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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